- zeus: hey i just met you
- zeus: and this is crazy
- zeus: but i just turned into an animal and fucked you with genitalia that are not meant for penetrative sex with human beings and impregnated you with my demi-god child
- zeus: so raise him maybe
#hashtag? I prefer #hashbrown
(via laughcentre)
do you ever want to slap yourself in the face because you know you should be doing something productive but instead you choose to sit in front of a laptop for hours on end doing shit that has no beneficial impact on your life and this just happens day after day after day and still you refuse to accept the fact that you have a problem
(via laughcentre)
My pickup lines for 1D:
- Me to Zayn: Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
- Me to Liam: I lost my teddy bear, may I cuddle you?
- Me to Louis: Are you from outer space? because your ass is out of this world
- Me to Harry: I'm glad I brought my library card 'cause I'm checkin' you out.
- Me to Niall: I brought you Nando's.
